
I’m both relieved and a little disappointed that the American Idol audition shows have dropped down to one hour in length, even if it means I get House afterward on Tuesdays (NOT watching The Moment of Truth tonight, thank you very little). It gives them less time for the bad singers and crazies. The freakiest people they showed last night were the girls swooning over Simon Cowell. Tip for you young ladies: the word for Simon is not “bad boy.” It starts with an A and is unprintable in a PG blog.
On the bad singer front, to lead with the Schadenfreude Express, the judges are being ever so much nicer to the twits than they used to be. Monique Gibson’s revelation that she really didn’t belong there was greeted with sympathy from all three of them. Yes, Simon Cowell, master of kicking the downed loser, was sympathetic. She was clearly devastated, but that hasn’t stopped him before. I think he should’ve poured verbal hydrochloric acid on Blake Boshnack. The little moron has auditioned eleven times, clearly isn’t taking voice classes, and will probably try again next season. And his mother is encouraging him. Good thing he lacks talent. He’d be a burnout with a driven mother like that.
The good singers had their own interesting moments. David Archuleta’s breaking out of vocal paralysis and having a voice with that much maturity at his age was impressive. I fear the experience at this stage may hurt what could’ve been a better career if he gets past the Hollywood preliminaries, but I could also be wrong. Tetiana Ostapowich definitely thinks she’s a better singer than she is. I almost hope she gets to the semifinals so we can watch her face when she loses before this year’s inevitable waste-of-space contestant. As for the last singer, Carly Smithson, she’s a ringer. Not only was she one step shy of a shoo-in because her INS woes kept her from competing in the fifth season, she’s already had a contract with a major record label under the name of Carly Hennessy. Sure, they dumped her, but that’s prior professional experience on the same level they promise the winner and several of the also-rans. Honestly, I think that should have disqualified her the same way I think they should set a ceiling on how often you’re allowed to audition and get rejected. Is the AI process really going to eliminate whatever problems caused the single to go nowhere? Can we ask Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks how much certain elements matter to being a top seller?
And while it may be early in the season, there is still a great selection of fan gear available from our American Idol store. And if you have an idea for something you’d like to see in our store, make sure to use the Product Suggestion page!